Can I ask for help?

 Can you ask for help and actually take the help? 

Do you do a "battle cry" of  I don't need help?

Are you always asking for help?

We as women tend to think we have to do it on our own and refuse to ask for help. For some women it's so they can prove that they are capable, but who are you trying to prove it to? Some women have no clue how to ask for help, while other women are afraid to ask for help. 

I did ask for some help when I was younger and was told No, so you guessed it I quit asking for help until the day I had to ask for help. I was trying to prove to those around me that I could do it and didn't need their help. 

Here's the thing for you women out there, some of us don't ask because we know it comes with strings and truthfully who wants to deal with that. I get that some of the times I asked for help it came with strings. Some women refuse to ask because of past times of nobody helping them. When we tried before to ask and got told no or they never showed up to help then we tend to think everyone is going to do that as well. 

I actually was chatting with my therapist about this very subject. She is in the category of being too stubborn to ask. She also brought up another point and that is when we ask for help from someone and they don't value you or that you need help and they let you down. That's a tough one.

As for the people who can't ask for help for fear of strings and you "owe me" debts, I get it. Here's the thing though we are unfortunately putting that "taint" on those around us and it's not fair to those who would help very quickly. I understand the help with strings and you owe me debts, I have had to endure that for quite awhile until I realized I need to just stop asking for help and do it all myself. 

I have a friend that refuses to ask for help, she will do it on her own. One day it hit me, what or who is she trying to prove something to. It did get me to thinking and realizing that all women out there deal with this. Some will say I have no idea what happened or that they always get a no when they ask for help. This means you no longer ask this person for help. They had their reasons and you may not agree and that's ok. It's tough to ask for help when you have heard "no" too often or even when nobody shows up to help. 

In saying all of this what I am getting at is that it's ok to ask for help from the right person. Sit and think of your people, you know who would help and who wouldn't. To the young women, learn to ask regardless of the "no", learn to do some things on your own but when you need help as scary as it is to ask, do it anyways. To the other women out there, it doesn't matter how many times you have heard "no" or dealt with strings and owe me debts, look at your circle there is someone who will help you. 

My Granddad used to tell me that I was blocking the blessing that someone would get because I didn't let them help. I am learning to keep that close and still ask for help. I still have days where I know I need to ask for help but yet I don't want to inconvenience anyone or have someone got out of their way. 

Start small that's all I'm asking for. I had to learn at the beginning of my medical journey in 2022. I still have my moments but each day gets better

Peace out Tater Tot