Today in our world we are told to not body shame. Today we are told that it is not cool to pick on, judge, degrade other females because in doing so it will make them feel less. It will make females feel like they will never measure up. In todays world we are bombarded with models and celebrities, along with fitness everywhere you look. At times it is difficult to not feel less than...
As a child you dont know how to have self respect or self worth. It is up to your parents, guardian's to cultivate and nourish it to grow. My parents did not do that. I am even gonna go out on a limb and say they probably didn't know how. I was left to my own devices and learn how to do that all by myself EXCEPT, I didn't know how.
I spent my early years just trying my hardest to just get my mother to love me. I did everything I could to get her to accept me, to love me, to just want to be around me. I spent my teenage years still trying but now throw in hormones and puberty. Now what?
By the time that all hit, I didn't know me, didn't think I was worth anything, didn't think I was beautiful. Don't get me wrong I'm still not beautiful but...... Anyways, I spent all my time trying to get those around me to like me, and that's when it started I didn't have any self worth and absolutely no self respect.
Getting in to my adult years and it just seem to get worse but yet I didnt know. I didnt know how to stop it. When one thing didnt work or quit working I would try something else. To me, when someone would show me attention, whether it be physical, sexual or even emotional I thought I was accepted. I thought I was loved. I thought I was finally good enough.
The only thing all that did was give me more baggage and left the deficient worse than ever. It was a hole that I didn't think I could ever climb out of. It was with the help of my counselors and some serious writing that I finally understood and began the journey of learning to have self respect, self worth and most important self love......
No comments:
Post a Comment