Duh Moment

   So today as I was hanging tags and talking to God, I had one of those "aha moments". I have to go back to Oct 31, 2013 and explain. So Oct 31 I had just had one surgery and this was the day I was getting my staples removed. I was woke up by His voice and He said "this battle is not for you but those around you", well I heard it and then went back to sleep. I was woke up again about 7:45 and the voice was loud and clear like it was in my room. My response was "alright God I heard ya". So I went back to sleep only to be woken up by Dr. C's office, they wanted me to come in about 3:30 that afternoon the doc needed to talk to me. Honestly at that time and with the word I had just gotten I really thought they were going to tell me I had endometriosis. So I had peace and went back to sleep. 

   It has been about 2 years and I have had one medical thing after another since then.  Today I remember the word I was given 2 years ago and realized that just because I was done with chemo and radiation didn't mean that the word was done. I realized today that while I have had one thing after another that this very well may be exactly what He was talking about. My body hasn't had time to heal before I am right back in the docs office with something else that has to be taken care of. 

   I got it in my head that since I was done with chemo and radiation that my life would get back to some kind of normalcy. I thought that I had done the word I was given well. Boy did I get knocked on the head today. Just because I think it should be done doesn't mean that He wants it to be done. Everything I have been through is all part of this journey. All the testing, the diagnosis, the waiting, the time, the energy, the sleepless nites, the tears (yes at times I really do cry), the sadness, the loneliness. Well you get the picture. Everything in the past 2 years has been apart of this word that I was given. At times I forgot about the word I was given not on purpose but in my mind the word was done. I am sure that at times I have failed which is gonna happen. 

     Don't get me wrong, I have had people come up to me and tell me that they admired me because I have kept a positive attitude towards all of this, I have had a few tell me that I have done well through this journey so far.  I have done my best to keep a positive attitude throughout all of this. There has been a few times that I got discouraged over every thing that has taken place so far. During those times I have had someone lift me up with a word or even an encouraging text, you gotta do it so you mind as well deal with it. As I embark on yet another appointment I will keep in mind that this journey isn't necessarily for me but for those around me. 

Peace out 

Tater tot